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This is What REALLY Matters: The Relationships in Our Lives - At Work Romans 12:9-21 Introduction to the Scripture: Today's reading is full of advice. It's a great list - a kind of Life's Little Instruction Book from the apostle Paul. Since there is so much to absorb, it's printed in your bulletin so you can take it home to ponder and maybe even put on your refrigerator or tape it to the bathroom mirror or the wall of your cubical. Continuing our series on Relationships, today we are considering relationships at work . . . that might be paid work or volunteer work. We're thinking about relationships with people we as are trying to accomplish a task together. These people are our bosses and our co-workers and people we manage. They might drive Jaguars to work or they might take the bus. They may have responsibilities over millions of dollars or they might be worried about whether the rent will get paid this month. These are people with whom we spend an amazing amount of time each week. These are people with whom we have complex relationships. Now while these instructions we'll hear in a moment were first applied in the context of the early community of Christian believers, I believe they are excellent advice in our relationships at church, at work or anywhere. As you listen to them, picture the faces of the people with whom you work. Listen to this hard-to-always-follow, but really-good-to-do, advice. I have to say there is one line in this reading that bugs me a bit. See if you can guess which one that is and see if it bothers you too. Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. Help needy Christians. That's the one. Not that I don't think that's a good idea, it surely is, but sounds a bit limited doesn't it? Pass the theology test and then I'll help you. Well, that's not really what it means. Remember these words were first applied in the context of how to get along within the congregation in the early church. It didn't mean to ignore others, it just meant to be sure to take care of those in need right is your midst as well. So, now let's get back to the theme for today, relationships in the work place. So did you hear about the man who joined a huge, Multi National Company as a trainee? On his first day he dialed the cafeteria and shouted into the phone, "Hey, I need coffee, right now!" The voice from the other end responded, "You idiot, you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?" "No", replied the trainee. "It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!" The man shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you old coot?" "No.", replied the Managing Director. "Good!", replied the trainee and hung up! I got that joke from one of many office humor web sites. That site was called www.ishouldbeworking.com Really! And how long has the comic strip Dilbert been around? The setting for many sitcoms, dramas and even soap operas, our work places take a prominent place in our lives and the relationships with the people there bring joy, challenges, aggravation, heartburn, jubilation, satisfaction, headaches and the feeling of accomplishment. And a sense of humor is an essential part of surviving at work! This week I interviewed quite a few people in our congregation about how they see their faith affecting their relationships in the work environment, whether paid or volunteer. I asked them about the joys and challenges of work relationships and how they coped with difficult relationships at work. I asked them what they would say if they were preaching and I am grateful for their helpful, inspiration and interesting responses. Everyone I talked to is quite intentional about the connection between their faith and work. That might range from taking your Bible to work and reading it on breaks to letting the values of your faith inform the decisions you make in how you treat people at various levels of the company to putting your job at risk by taking a stand on ethics. No one checked her or his faith at the office door. There were common themes and unique experiences and enough material for a 3 day workshop! One concept that showed up in everyone's comments, (often this virtue was mentioned as the root or most important) - everyone talked about respect. So with apologies to Aretha Franklin, I'm going build the wisdom and experience people so generously shared around that word - R-E-S-P-E-C-T . . . letting it be an organizing tool for an advice list a bit like the one we heard from Romans. Ready? R-E-S-P-E-C-T! R-espect Have concern for the whole person, no matter where that person is in the pecking order. It may be the CEO or it may be the person who cleans the bathrooms. Respect people for who they are, what they know and what they bring to the task. Remember that everyone is under pressure and in today's work world where fewer people are expected to accomplish more with fewer resources, everyone needs to respect each other. Now, I don't need to tell you that not everyone will give that respect back. And I can only imagine some of the incredibly difficult people some of you work with or for. But here's a piece of advise that might be helpful that comes by way of someone who at one time had a terrible boss. Someone gave her the following advice and it helped. "You can learn more from a bad boss than a good one." When she began to look at this as a learning experience, an experience that would teach her how to be a good boss when that time came, the situation became more bearable. E-xcellence Give your best and help others to do the same. That means a lot to you when others do it. And in striving for excellence, it's likely you won't reach it, you may stumble and fall, but our faith gives us the hope to pick ourselves up, learn from what happened and try again. Ralph will tell you that people who are too cheery drive him crazy, but most of us appreciate someone with a positive outlook. Be that someone. Everyone I talked to also said that it takes time and effort and energy to maintain camaraderie and express appreciation at work, but it was worth the trouble. S-olidarity Several individuals I talked to thought that their faith connected to their work in their appreciation for diversity and the value of tolerance. One person revealed that her growing spirituality expressed itself in realizing she had been categorizing people as she awoke to seeing now that we are all connected. Ironically, there are times a company culture can work against this very kind of solidarity as competition, greed, poor motivational methods, focus on individuals grabbing all they can for themselves undermine the very goals for the institution. Everyone expressed great joy and delight when things were going well, when people were working together as they saw phenomenal things accomplished. P-rayer Not surprisingly, this was my favorite part to hear people talk about. One person uses a kind of Yoga breathing breath prayer while at work, when stressed. You breathe in to a count of 3 and exhale for 6 and as you exhale you say something like "Oh God, you cast out my fear." It really works! Another person prepares for work each day with a multi-step process. First, physical exercise (several people mentioned how important this was for stress reduction) then prayer. But a certain kind of prayer were he prays quite specifically for the decisions that he and his team face that day. He prays for the people in his department, or people with whom he is having conflict, or people who will be part of a meeting that day. And I wish you could hear him talk about how this has changed him and how work goes each day! He said, "When you are praying positive things for people, it is hard to hold ill will for them." Prayer forces him to have positive, charitable thoughts for folks who are difficult. And for him, prayer brings perspective. He does this kind of praying everyday which allows him to say, "Because of this, I literally see answers to prayer every day." There are not always miracles of people transforming overnight, but this kind of prayer gives the one praying more calm, focus, and reduces anxiety. E-thics You may have to take a stand that puts your job or your promotion in jeopardy. Doing the right thing may not be easy or rewarded or celebrated, but you'll be able to live with yourself when you do it. One area several people mentioned as a challenge was to figure out how to maintain or seek support from their employers for a healthy work - family balance. One of our members worked hard advocating for this balance in a company that did not have it and he succeeded (not easily he said he was fired on an average of every two weeks!) in bringing this change. C-ommunication Oh it's an old comment, this one about communication, but it is so basic and essential. Here's a piece of advice from someone who said he has learned over the years that it is helpful to try to put yourself in the place of that other person who is driving you crazy or is angry or defensive. Listen from their side of the table. Separate the person from the problem and learn how to speak clearly and listen wisely. T-rust Here's a great quotation: "relationships suffer in an atmosphere of fear and flourish in an atmosphere of trust." One of the lines in our scripture says, If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Trust is a two way street, so there are particular challenges here. Still, that phrase, So far as it depends on you reminds us to do our part. I was so impressed this week by everyone with whom I talked. And if they are representative of this congregation and I believe they are, then WOW what a difference you all are making in the world each day. 400 of you, going to work, trying to do your best to live out your faith in your daily relationships - not being perfect but making efforts to live as Christ would in the work world. Making our world better each day. Each day, so far as it depends on you, living peaceably with all. There's that "Take your daughter to work" day. Sounds to me like all of you have a "take Jesus to work" day every day. Take the loving, compassionate, persevering, justice-seeking, treat everyone equitably, willing to admit mistakes, seeking the needs of others Jesus to work every day. That's what it is all about. Sounds great, but I know it can be really hard! Almost impossible at times. So we come here to recharge, to refocus, to renew, and find perspective, and when you feel like you are swimming against the tide to know others are swimming with you, throwing you a life line, cheering you on. You come to find spiritual food in the company of each other, in the presence of God among us and now at this table of reconciliation, renewal and commitment. |
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